Ask Dr. Sagebrush

This article is part of the PPSA Online Magazine
by Dr. Sagebrush
Volume 8 Number 1 - Spring 1995

do you have
A Question?
A Quandry?
or, a Puzzle that you have Pondered for too long?
Are you Perplexed by the Mysteries of Life?

The Solution my friend will come from

Dr. Sagebrush!

Click on the button below and you too may find
Answers to the questions that have stymied the ancients!

[Dr. Sagebrush is not a trained psychologist. He did, however, call the Psychic Friends Network once
to ask how they get the peanuts inside the M&M's...]

Submit your question here!

Question Answer
I got some stuff for my garden; you are supposed to use one teaspoon per gallon water and your blooms will be bloomier and your leaves more leafy. On the bottle it says it contains twelve miracles of nature. Twelve of them.
What do you suppose they are?
The manufacturer of this product is based in Italy. Like many Taiwanese outfits, their labels often suffer during translation. In this case the letters in the phrase "twelve miracles of nature" have become garbled, and should actually read "twelve lire of cats manure".
Dear Dr. Sagebrush,
The world is a tough place. I think that if people didn't ever have to leave the womb, they wouldn't. Do you think there is a reason to leave the womb?
If so, what?
Cable Television.
Dear Dr. Sagebrush,
If you and I were giants, and the earth were the size of a baseball, would you be able to throw a good knuckler with the earth and what would I use as a bat, also would the presence of the oceans constitute a spitball, thus disqualifying you?
EPA rules expressly forbid "throwing, striking, or punting the Earth, or in any way imparting significant stress to the Earth while engaging it in sport, either recreational or competitive." For this reason suitable bats are not currently being manufactured, nor has the baseball commission issued a ruling on foreign substances applied to pitched balls of radii greater than 1000 kilometers. All that aside, however, I believe I could chunk a pretty mean knuckler with it.

Please return again and ponder more
Mysteries of the Universe
Dr. Sagebrush

Last Updated 08/09/95.© 1996 PPSA