News From Detroit JAN94

News From Detroit

January 1994

Brought to you by...

                        News From Detroit                    Jan., 1994
Steve Langer                 (ULTRIX)
Standard disclaimers apply. In addition, the author makes no guarantees,
concerning the grammatical accuracy of his writing. Therefore, any ^B's, ^C's, 
midword character additions/deletions and other non-sense which occurs (after 
the work leaves the author's decade old text editor via his decade old Amiga, 
struggles through a local 1200 baud Merit server to be further mauled via the 
remote VAX mail servers) is someone elses problem - namely yours.
On last month's survey;
   " What does the election of anti-reformation forces in Russia 
     portend for future east-west relations? "
Nothing good I fear. With Yeltsin claiming that he requires ever widening
powers for the good of Russia, and a parliament that has admitted
it will attempt to forestall his reforms, there will be a growing tendency
for either another Presidential suspension of the Constitution, or a 
Parliamentary Revolt. This uncertainty bodes ill for foreign investment
which is what is needed to aid the transition of Russia to a free market.
I wish I could be more hopeful on this.

On Clinton's Scandals;

  Have you noticed how (for the first time in my memory) a Democratic
Presidential scandal finally got its own name? WhitewaterGate. I guess
it was too close to Watergate for the press to pass up. Now, will the
story of Arkansas troopers pimping for Govnr. Clinton also get a name?
Perhaps ForniGate will get popular.

  There is this thing called credibility, and the Clintons have really
stretched theirs.  As you read this issue, you'll see more information
on the suicide(?) of Vince Foster, and the Clintons involvement in 
Whitewater and Madison S&L.  One of Hillary's best defenses of  her
Whitewater involvement is that  she and Bill lost $60K. "See, it must
be legal, we lost money." If this is true  why didn't they take the
IRS deduction? Remember, this is a lady who donated her undergarments
(at $6/piece) to charity for a tax write off (see the Nov. 1993 of the 
*American Spectator*). But let's assume everything they've said is
true. Let's clear the slate of all criminal accusations and take the 
Clinton's claims at face value. Do you trust  someone who loses money
in their private investments to invest your's? Do you trust them to
find new efficiencies in govt. spending?  Do you trust them to nationalize
1/7 of this nation's economy?

On Justice;

   In the spirit of Asimov's Laws of Robotics, here are Steve's Laws of
Justice. {Their validity will become increasingly apparent as you read this 

  Law 0: Non-liberals are always guilty.
	[eg. Bob Packwood, Rep. Senator, guilty of sex harrasment.
  Law 1: The white-heterosexual-male is  guilty except where
	this would conflict with the previous Law.
	[eg. Ted Kennedy & John Inoaye, Dem. Senators, innocent
	[of sex harrasment.

  Law 2: The white  non-heterosexual-male is  guilty except
  	for where this would conflict with the previous Laws.
	[eg.  in the UK, PMS is a valid defense for a woman
  	[to kill her husband

  Law 3: The pigmentationally enhanced male is guilty except where
	this would conflict with  the previous Laws.
	[eg.  Many  law suits of black males vs. a white employer for 
  	[job discrimination.

  Law 4: The pigmentationally enhanced non-male is always 
	[eg.  Anita Hill, Loreena Bobbit.

  Armed with these few rules, you will be able to predict the
media slant on any inter-being dispute.

On the Misery Update;

	      |	1992	1993	1994	1995	1996
Unemployment  | 7.2%	6.6%
Inflation     | 4.7%	2.8%
Fed. Inc. Tax | 28%	48%
(top margin)  |
FICA	      | 15%	15%
Cap Gains     | 28%	28%
Gasoline      | $0.15   $0.20
(per gallon)  |

Sources: 1992 values, the Dec. 4, 1992 Wall Street Journal
	 1993 values, 4.8 cent/gallon gas tax hike, inflation and unemployment
 	              from Jan. 13, 1994 CBS News.
On the Shortfalls of the News; 
  It was pointed out to me over the vacation that the News is little
better than an e-mail version of Ross Perot; a gadfly that levels lots
of criticisms but stops short of the hard part of coming up with workable
solutions. In response to this (admittedly accurate) charge, I'm changing
the *Survey of the Month* to the *Fix of the Month*  wherin your's truly
will identify (in my opinion) the most pressing problem detailed in that
issue and I'll canvas for your fixes.
                        GUEST EDITORIAL

The environmental year that wasn't
                --by Alston Chase
(from the Jan. 9  Free Press)

This  was  supposed   to   be	an   environmental  year. Al Gore became
vice-president,  his ex-aide Carol Browner took over the Environmental
Protection Agency, forest ecologist Jack Ward Thomas rode the spotted
owl issue to the chiefdom of the Forest Service and a man whose name
rhymes with "rabbit," hippity-hopped to the top of the Interior
But rather than indicating the arrival of Ecotopia,  this was a year
when Americans rediscovered that people are more important than
gnatcatchers, and that saving California smelt	or  cactus  wrens
is  less essential than offering health care to everyone or disarming
kindergarten children who carry AK-47's  to class.

So here are the tragedies, funny happenings, outrageous incidents, big
stories and significant non-events that signal this change in national

* Farmer Lino Lopez of Rio Grande City, Texas, became the first American to 
die of stings from African killer bees. Meanwhile, Congress decided to phase
out honey subsidies - a step some ecologists say will accelerate the
northward advance of this homicidal illegal apian immigrant.

* Bicoastal yuppies invaded the Rockies,bearing cellular phones and
Calistoga water.  Buying big spreads and ranching the view, they
evicted cattle, bought buffalo and lobbied for more wilderness, thus
provoking their beefy neighbors to stampede Capitol Hill.

* Groundhog numbers skyrocketed in Washington, D.C., because, said one
ecologist, the city offered 'ideal habitats and secure conditions for
them.' Thus, the little rodents  comfirmed what wise use advocates
already knew - that the nation's capitol had plenty of ground hogs -
otherwise known as environmentalists and congressmen - desiring to
cover the country with ecologically appealing chuck holes.

* Colorado discontinued its spring blackbear hunt, inviting what  one
official called 'the  summer  of  the  bears  from   hell.' These
ursine interlopers invaded kitchens, crashed picnics and killed at
least one man. Mountain lions, multiplying like kittens	 in
mouse-filled barns, harassed hikers along the Rocky Mountain front.
And almost everywhere, overly protected deer munched endangered plants
like kids gobbling Rainforest Crunch candy.

* Provoked by Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt, the wise-use movement
grew like an elephant with a pituitary disorder, while Congress added
property-rights amendments to the secretary's Biological Bill.  This was
the first time ever such protections were added to a piece
of environmental legislation.
* The biggest environmental event of the was a non-starter: Clinton's
Northwest Forest Conference.  Intended to solve the spotted owl impasse
by pleasing everyone, it instead satisfied nobody, and the issue remains
unresolved. Lumber prices rose to all-time highs, and 23 more mills
closed this year.
* The debate over the North American Trade Agreement provoked an
unprecedented split in the normally homogenous environmental community.
Groups like the Environmental Defense Fund supported the treaty, while
others, such as the Sierra Club and Public Citizen, opposed it.
Meanwhile, thanks to shrinking memberships, several conservation groups
are running deficits.
* The media became more skeptical.  A few newspapers discovered global
warming hasn't happened and that refrigerants are not causing
carcinogenic ultraviolet radiation to increase, as Cassandrass predicted.
Others published stories about consumers who are frosted over the
high cost of repairing air conditioners.

*   The NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw reported that Northern Spotted
owls actually thrive in logged-over forests. ABC's 20/20 revealed that
before the California fires, the Fish and Wildlife Service, in an effort
to protect the habitat of kangaroo rats, threatened home owners
with huge fines or jail sentences if they disked the ground around
their dwellings to create firebreaks.  Consequently, says
20/20, several homes needlessly burned to the ground.

   Meanwhile, the biggest domestic stories
 in 1993 did not concern the environment at
 all.  Instead, they were about crime and
 health Care.  As Americans realized this
 year, the biosphere isn't collapsing, but  
 society may be.
1. From Fri Dec 31 17:29:02 1993
Subject: A little history

Dear Stevey,

No, I'm not going to correct your mathematical errors that occurred in
your feeble attempt to address my letter to last month's Stevey Press.

Instead, this might be a good time to reflect on the 150th
anniversary of "A Christmas Carol."  More accurately, we can reflect on
the loathsome liberal named Charles Dickens who wrote it.  Through
his many publications, bleeding-heart Dickens campaigned through his 
writing against many positions that the conservatives of his day held 
near and dear.  To name two of these issues, Dickens portrayed debtor's 
prisons and the lack of child labor laws in his time as somewhat undesirable. 
The liberals of his day were so successful that, today, even some
conservatives would agree with their positions.  Although the names of
the "liberal" and "conservative" groups have changed over time (e.g.,
Lincoln was a Republican!), think about the historical predecessors
of today's "liberal" issues.  To help - think about voting rights for
women, think about abolishing slavery, think about some things that
Thomas Jefferson wrote, think about Christianity, think about ...

All of these were at one time positions held only by the "liberal" 
segments of society.  Today, they have become mainstream. It's hard
to determine whether conservatives or liberals of today tend to be
correct more often.  The difficulty is our lack of perspective.
To gain some perspective, try to think of issues that were
controversial in their day but no longer are.  To insure a reasonable
perspective, limit yourself to pre-1900 issues.  Try to classify these
as "liberal" or "conservative" for their day.  After you've thought of
a few, see if you can conclude whether the "liberals" or the
"conservatives" have been on the right side of issues.  I am sure you
will use your exceptional weasel ability to elude the question
-- perhaps by discussing today's issues instead of using a historical
perspective?  You may not admit it or enjoy it but I think you will secretly 
realize that, historically, the political left tends to be morally right.

Don't lose hope - Scrooge changed his mind and you can too!
Kisses as always, Jeff

  [Ah yes, Jeff attends a play over the hollidays and becomes
  [enshrined with historical perspective.
  [I'm worried about you not correcting my errors. Are you ill?
  [As for a historical perspective on the liberal path to 
  [paradise, I trust you've heard of the late, great Eastern Block.
  [And  as for the writings of T. Jefferson, (who kept slaves by the
  [way , unlike G.Washington  who freed his at  his death) how about;

    [in a letter to William S. Smith in 1787]: "And what country can
    preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to
    time that this people preserve the spirit of resistance?  Let them
    take arms....The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to
    time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants"

Thomas Jefferson, 1821:  "...the Federal Judiciary; an irresponsible body 
(for impeachment is scarcely a scare-crow), working like gravity by night 
and by day, gaining a little to-day and a little to-morrow, and advancing 
it's noiseless step like a thief, over the field of jurisdiction, until all 
shall be usurped from the States, and the government of all be consolidated 
into one.  ...when all government... in little as in great things, shall be 
drawn to Washington as the centre of all power, it will render powerless 
the checks provided of one government on another and will become as 
venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated."

Thomas Jefferson:  "... a wise and frugal government, which shall restrain 
men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate 
their own persuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from 
the mouth of labor the bread it has earned.  This is the sum of good 

Thomas Jefferson:  "...judges should be withdrawn from the bench whose 
erroneous biases are leading us to dissolution.  It may, indeed, injure 
them in fame or fortune; but it saves the Republic..."

Thomas Jefferson:  "As for the right to suicide..if this is a "Christian 
Nation", then only God theoretically has the right to take a life.  It's a 
touchy issue.  I personally believe you have every right to suicide, but 
only if you succeed.  Failures should be punished.  Now, is it a Christian 
nation?  I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature."

  [or weren't these the writings you meant? I do applaud your
  [bait and switch tactics though. Since I'm being proven 
  [repeatedly correct in my prognostications of the present, you
  [want to shift venues to the past. Nice try.
  [ You also seem to think it surprising that Lincoln was a Rep.
  [You  shouldn't.  From det_news92.nov
"In 1776, people (such
as myself) who wanted a Free Market and minimal govt. interference, were 
referred to as Jeffersonian liberals. Over time, that group came to call
themselves Democrats. But eventually, being the majority in the Federal
Congress, the Democrats increased the size of the Federal bureaucracy
and felt that there were more and more jobs that they should be involved in.
In Wisconsin (circa 1860 I think) the Republican party was formed to 
combat that trend and bring the govt. back to Jefferson's ideals. [Lincoln
was the first Republican president.]

  As last month's diagram (on political science) shows, the current 
Republican platform is now Jeffersonian in economic policy only. The only 
party currently embracing the majority of views held by the founding 
fathers are the Libertarians. "

  [The fact that you find Lincoln's Republicanism  ironic speaks
  [volumes about your  historical perspective. I should also point out that the 
  [National Park System was founded by Teddy Roosevelt who was (Gadzooks!) 
  [a Rep. before he started the Bull/Moose party.  So Reps. have fought
  [racial injustice and supported nature preservation.  Now what was it you
  [said about the liberal segment being morally right? Oh and guess where 
  [the KKK comes from? Dixie Democratics. 
  [Look, the people who  claim to be liberal today bear scant resemblence
  [ to the philosophy of the Founders. They don't even resemble JFK (who
  [was a supply side economist.)
  [Jeff, we both want the same things for humanity: peace, health and
  [prosperity for all. I have just learned how to think rationally about
  [how to achieve these things (based on the lessons of history)
  [and you still base your opinions on your feelings.

2. From: Paul Campbell 

	My 2 cents on Jack the Dripper:

Steve, the guy is right. The federales have probably decided that it would
be safer to make suicide illegal just in case anybody gets any wise ideas
about getting out of their crooked deals and involuntary slavery.

On the other hand, part of the crooks of which I speak are those groups
who act in the fashion of "unions" while curiously exempting themselves.
They go by TLA's such as NEA, ABA, ADA, and AMA, although the worst by far
are the ABA and the AMA.

It should be ANYONE's RIGHT to freely use their life, limb, and property,
to whatever ends they wish. On the other hand, there is the aforementioned
gestapo terrorist organizations written into the de facto federation after
they usurped the republic.

If they are going to write the rules of the game in such a way that they
automatically have such an advantage over us peon slaves, then the least
we could petition them for is to follow their own rules, among them
including the much-touted "Thou Shalt Not Kill" and the hippocratic oath.

If they don't like it, they can always rewrite the rules. It can't be
that hard after all; the gestapo does it all the time.
My shtick on tariffs:

They only affect the rich anyways and hurt the middle and lower class
blue collar workers. See "The Consumer Cost of U.S. Trade Restraints",
Federal Reserve Bank of New York, _Quarterly Review_ (Summer 1985),
pages 10-11 for this chart:

Income Range     Income Tax Surcharge Equivalent*, 1984
 7000-9350       66%
 9350-11700      47
11700-14050      39
14050-16400      33
16400-18700      28
18700-23400      24
23400-28050      20
28050-35100      17
35100-46800      13
46800-58500      10
58500+            5

The "Surcharge Equivalent" is a classic "how to lie with figures" ploy. I
hate using this chart because the statistics are for shit. The "surcharge"
term means that for the "poverty" class, they would be paying 66% more
income taxes (above the practically zero tax base that same group would
normally have due to exemptions and welfare) while they would be paying only
5% in additional taxes on their already very high tax rates at the upper
end. The chart itself is still relatively accurate but the number have been
intentionally skewed all to hell and I haven't ever taken the time to get
new numbers out of it.

Second, the idea is to save jobs and thereby save the country money. I
have a list of the annual cost those jobs have incurred when they were
saved. I leave it to the astute reader to estimate whether the salaries
make up for the difference. Source: Gary Hufbauer, _Trade Protection in
the United States: 31 Case Studies_, tables 1.1 and 1.2 (1986).

Industry      Year in Which      Annual Cost to Consumers
              Protection Began   Total ($millions)     Per job Saved($1000's)
Specialty Steel     1976         520                   1000
Nonrubber footwear  1977         700                     55
Color TV's          1977         420                     42
Bolts, nuts, screws 1979         110                    550
Mushrooms           1980          35                    117
Automobiles         1981        5800                    105
Textiles & apparel  1982       27000                     42
Carbon Steel        1982        6800                    750
Motorcycles         1983         104                    150

Don't forget: In most cases (excluding textiles and other extremely low wage
jobs), you can also add a percentage (often has high as 50%) to your
estimates of salaries because benefits are not reflected in regular salary

I have more tables, but they aren't nearly as clear as these. All show
the same result: no matter how you slice the pie, you always lose with
Skirting the issue and speaking of that new Russian guy who's name
escapes me:  Jeez! This guy is COOL! I really like him a lot. I admire
a liberal democrat (he correctly identified himself) who quits
pandering to every whiny special interest group and gets around to
getting his true colors out in the open! The man is leading the way
for a "coming out" for liberals all around the world. They should
rejoice in his outspokenness and honesty.  

  [Ed: I believe you're thinking of Vladimir Gherinovzki (sp?)
Answer to "What does the hard-line anti-reformation vote in Russia
portend for future East-West relations?"

Unfortunately, as we have seen, the press has not gone running to
Moscow to fawn all over him like they did when Mikhiel Josef Gorbachev
came to the United States. I'm bummed out! No great press interviews
with leading questions. No fanfair. No praise. No spin doctors.

So, I guess the press is out of it. Then it must be up to Tsar Clinton to
charter a flight to Moscow to fondle the new Russian and fondle him
under the auspices of some great peace accord (are Democrat politics
SCRIPTED? If not, they should get some Academies for their great
performances off the cuff).

Germany is going to continue to be a hotbed of political intrigue for a long
time to come, partly for their part in waging economic war on the rest of
Europe and partly because they won't just go along with whatever spin the
rest of the West puts on Russia after being threatened a couple times.

Finland is going to be hopping mad and will station troops (along with
Norway) along their borders and will continue to be a thorn in everyone's
side because they will refuse to compromise on anything after they have
been threatened with invasion once again. However, don't expect anything but
some good television footage if the troops do start marching; all the
Scandanavian countries are armed to the teeth and judging from what I've
seen, I doubt even the United States could invade them!

Both sides will continue to rip on capitalism and claim that it is
obviously a loser even though it was never even ATTEMPTED in Russia (Yeltsin
couldn't manage to do enough political finangling to get it started). Why
is this when Europe is now well on their way to getting rid of Socialism?
Because as long as they preach the virtues of socialism and get the U.S. to
go along with it while secretly practicing sacrilegious rites of capitalism
(like profits), they will benefit from the economic damage that will occur
everywhere else in the world.

Will the iron curtain come back down (go back up?)?? No, of course not.
The Soviets have done this one so often it's old hat to them. They
open their borders to the West until they are economically back on
their feet before they stupidly shut the rest of the world off again.
Give them a few years first, then watch.

Will we see the return of the KGB? Is there such a thing as political
prisoners in the United States? Next rhetorical question..

One possibbility (though I doubt the Soviets will EVER try to put a
spin on things like this) is to suck up to the various European
countries EXCEPT Germany and to piss on the German Cheerios with
everybody else (creating allies with the rest of Europe) and then do
some really rotten doublecross that would make Boris and Natasha green
with envy. This is pure idle speculation though.

Regardless, I must admit that I am VERY impressed that the Soviets have
picked up on the finer points of campaigning (like lying continuously) so
fast even though the trustworthiness of their government is still in flux.
They are out on a limb here, but Russian-made saws are pretty piss poor.

In short, I predict that things will be business as usual; everyone putting
their own spin on events and playing mind games with whoever it is that
they are trying to suck up to this week. I once again rest my case that the
United States will continue to deteriorate as long as people listen to the
short-term solutions and expediencies served up by vote-conscious
Nov 10.: Macrosloth Corp. and Motorola announced they would jointly develop
a version of Windows NT to run on the PowerPC.

Nov 10: IBM Corp. said it would deliver the first of its "human-centered"
personal systems based on the PowerPC in the second half of 1994. These
systems will interact with users through "conversational surrogates"--
computer-generated faces whose eyes and facial muscles move as they speak.

On Electric Vehicles (IEEE Spectrum, Dec. 1993): Chrysler's TEVan is
scheduled to giver purchasers 2 options: Nicad batteries at $40K or
Nickel Iron at $37K. The car companies also all deny that they want to
fight the CARB and federal zero emissions rules, just that they want
the federales to help pay for it!

*** Rant mode on

Recently, computer marketting types have been getting pretty desperate
because the workstation market is actually becoming competitive (oh the
shame of not being able to charge any price you want) as well as making
waves towards standardization (new PC term is open systems). And the PC
market has of course been in a price free fall for some time now. So
what can you do to make a buck in the extremely competitive PC world?

Attempt 1: The "PDA"..Personal Digital Assistant. Dig out the old Star
Trek, Dynabook, and bad 50's SF and do it for real; an "electronic
notebook" that you can write on. Trouble is that the handwriting
recognition is atrocious, the software is even worse, and the price
tags put these potentially useful puppies in the hands of only the
most wealthy and stupid idiots around. No wonder why Apple is the best
known among them!

Attempt 2: order-by-phone. IBM plans on cashing in on the truly impulsive
ez! Can't you guys recognize a loser when it gets in your face and bites
you on the end of your nose?

Attempt 3: Virtual Reality and/or Multi-Media. First problem is that
with the junk they are trying to sell now, nobody has any real use for
it.  Second problem is that the products don't even come close to
matching the marketting hype. If you don't believe me, go to North
Pier Mall in Chicago and pay your $3 for 3 minutes on Dactyl Terror.
You stand on a 3 foot diameter platform and don a 20 lb. plastic
helmet with TV cameras stuck about 6 inches from your face that give
new meaning to the term tunnel vision. Then your hand mysteriously
appears directly in front of you no matter how you turn. Then you
attempt to negotiate the "virtual world" (no small feat..have you ever
tried to negotiate stairs when you can't see your virtual toes enough
to find the steps?). Then comes the kicker..while fighting with the
fact that the controls are so time delayed that you feel like you're
moving in a drunken stupor, attempt to shoot at 3 other players who
are suffering the same problems you are. It would be funny if it
wasn't so frustrating.

Attempt 4: Windoze version 6 zillion, now with functions that almost
mimic the real programs they were borrowed from to the point of being
usable.  Jeez! Can't you guys recognize a loser when it gets in your
face and bites you on the end of your nose?

Attempt 5: PC network emulation protocols. Look: PC network protocols suck
and have no support whatsoever. The basic requirement is to be able to
pass data around between programs and it is already working for MILLIONS
of existing machines using TCP/IP. But, without proprietary protocols
we wouldn't have "standards" like Novell's popular alphabet soup protocols.

Attempt 6: Emulators. These things have been around since the days of
OS/360. It was said that OS/360 and CPM would NEVER die out because there's
just so much support & software for them. Can someone please direct me to
the nearest S-100 bus support group who will help me put together the
machine I inherited around here (about 30 huge boards which supposedly
make up a fully functional machine) the next time I get nostalgic?

Don't worry..I can point out these farces all day but fortunately anyone
reading Steve's newsletter already knows it because they have the good
business sense to smell losers. They won't be caught by the spin doctors
who have donned techie clothes and make phony credentials as "experts"
to sell copies of XXX World and XXX Magazine.

*** Rant mode off
Enough for now. More later possibly.

  [Once more for clarity, I have never been for making suicide, assisted
  [or otherwise, illegal. And those who will contend otherwise will compell
  [me to repeat last month's reply to Jeff as well as several other back
  [issues. However, having Jack Kavorkian as the poster child for this
  [issue is about as supportive as having a mass murderer make the case
  [for the 2'nd amendment. And yes, I'm capable of separating the message
  [from the messenger, and evaluating said message based on its merits. But
  [honestly, do you think Attorney General Jocylyn Elders call for
  [legalizing drugs (which I also support) will be considered fairly
  [given the record of her son? There is this thing called "credibility"
  [among the public relations types.
  [On computers: As far as I'm concerned, anyone who doesn't use an
  [open system (and this word has been in use since at least 1988 by
  [DEC) deserves all the pain and suffering they get. WHat constitutes an
  [open system? To me it means a POSIX compliant OS, X-based GUI, TCP/IP
  [networking protocol (with telnet, ftp, SMTP, etc.), and ANSI/ISO standard
  [languages. An open bus (VME, FutureBUS,or PCI) is also nice.
  [Just as an example of Microsoft's idea of openess, their NT BSD Sockets
  [implementation uses positive return values to indicate an error. Berkeley
  [socket calls use a negative integer to indicate an error. And Gates has
  [the gall to say all you have to do with BSD Socket code on NT is a 
  [simple recompile (of course, all the #defines also start with WSA for
  [ Windows Socket Api).
  [Also, Scott McNardy(?), pres. of SUN, has developed WABI for Solaris.
  [This is an API that will allow Windows binaries to run unaltered under
  [Sun's UNIX. Of course, Microsoft is suing for copywright breach, but they
  [also claim that WABI will never be able to keep up with the rapid
  [updates in the Windows API coming from Microsoft. After all, we now 
  [ have Win-16, Win-32 SDK, Win-32S, Win-for-Workgroups, Win-32 Foundation
  [Class, and coming soon Win-NT Foundation Class. The only API which will
  [compile under all the Windows variants is Win-32 SDK and Microsoft
  [says that it will soon abandon it because it's "too primitive". So 
  [Gates' big threat to 3'rd party software developers is that
  [if they use WABI their code will won't be current. In another words,
  [they won't have to re-write their Windows apps every time Bill farts.
  [And McNardy smiles and says, "That is precisely the point".
  [Finally, and this really ticks me off, how long will Americans be
  [suckers for someone who claims to have invented something by just
  [coining a new name for it? To hear the hype, Bill Gates invented
  [the first multi-tasking OS (Win-NT), but he calls it multi-threading
  [(and yes I know this term comes from MACH). How about the famed
  [Windows DLL (dynamic link library)? Those of us using real operating
  [systems have known them as Run-Time or Shared libraries for the
  [last 20 years.  But the best example is our Vice President. Algore, 
  [our high-tech hero, has single handedly re-invented the Internet by
  [calling it the Information Super-Highway. In a college writing class
  [this would be called plagiarism.

3. And Paul writes yet again;
From: Paul Campbell 

Haventree Software's EasyFlow progam has the following disclaimer in
the packaging: "If EasyFlow doesn't work: tough. If you lose millions
because EasyFlow messes up, it's you that's out the millions, not us.
If you don't like this disclaimer: tough. We reserve the right to do
the absolute minimum provided by law, up to and including nothing.
This is basically the same disclaimer that comes with all software
packages, but ours is in plain English and theirs is in legalese. We
didn't want to include any disclaimer at all, but our lawyers
A 72 year-old Swedish woman who died in her home in 1990 was not
discovered until 1993 because electronic deposits of her pension and
computer-mediated payment of her bills made nobody suspect.

The main media had a kitten when the Justice department went after the
PGP guys. An anonymous individual posted code to Usenet that decodes
some of Cadence corporation's proprietary source code and the Usenet
net-police went after the guy with a vengeance. Not a word out of the
press, either. Double standards strike again.
IBM has been blitzing us with ads about their "green PCs" that use a
little less power than other PC's, which already use so little power
it's not funny. IBM has also been trying to do a coverup on the
research that proves that the chemicals in chip manufacturing are
toxic. At least their hearts are in the right place as far as
environmentalism goes, right?

[Note: I knew everything in chip fabrication was very toxic; this has
been a well-known fact for a long time and anybody working in chip
clean rooms either knows it or hasn't been in good health lately; I
didn't know that IBM was doing a coverup since everybody else knows it
too as far as I knew -- Paul]

  [ED: Gosh, you mean I shouldn't be drinking that photo-resist and 
  [munching on Ga-As wafers?!? Where's the special prosecutor?

The White House phone system that Bill bitched about did indeed have
some problems. So to "upgrade" it, they spent a mere $25 million in their
efforts to continue cutting spending. The 60's "switchboard" is a
"front end" to the system and only for top level allows
call screening and such. The rest is fairly modern equipment; speed
dialing, conferencing, call transfer. But each executive office is not
compatible with the others. Same with their voice mail; everybody has
it but the systems are not interconnected.

Bill complained that anybody could pick up an extension and listen in.
That's because no other president had ever bothered to request a private
line. Other cabinet officials have them and when Clinton requested one,
he got it installed in under an hour.

The public comment lines were flooded because normally the phones are
answered by volunteers chosen from the appropriate political party. When
Bush left, so did the volunteers. So the switchboard people were totally
swamped until Bill found himself some volunteers. This was the announced
"failure" of the phone system.

Next, the White House bypassed the Competition in Contracting Act that
mandates full and open competition under "urgent and compelling need"
(a designation under national security used for wartime procurement) to
accept only 2 bids from AT&T and Northern Telecom and use the local
company, C&P Telephone, for Centrex.

The "high tech" system is 4000 leased Centrex lines feeding not just 1
but 3 AT&T Definity G3R PBX switches with digital consoles. The extra
2 are for "backups". Of course if the phone system really was down, there
really is already a backup system run by the White House Communications
Agency which is classified.

The sum total of "improvements": voice mail that can be forwarded through
the entire Executive Office, 6-way conference calls without operator
assistance (previously restricted to 3), rerouting old numbers via
terminal (currently a technician comes in and rewires the junction box
which takes about an hour). That's it.

The House Government Operations Committee determined that the public
was ripped off. It found that it "appears" that new contracts
were given "in clear violation of the federal Competition in Contracting
Act." Republican Bill Clinger said: "In reality, busy signals and
unanswered calls during the early days of the Clinton administration
were caused by inadequate management and a failure to adequately staff
the public comment lines. It's hard to understand how limiting
competition and saddling the taxpaers with a $25 million bill solves the
problem of mismanagement." The GAO is currently investigating it, too.

The current DMS-100 switch can handle up to 100,000 calls per hour. In
February, it choked on only 65,000 calls in a whole day. It was set up
to handle only 1000 calls per hour. C&P Telephone sent in some engineers
2 months later and "voluntarily" upgraded that DMS-100 at no charge.
The upgrade consisted of reconfiguring the call-handling capability of
the switch. It was all pretty much routine upgrades and telco insiders
tell me that essentially, this was a face-saving maneuver.

The White House claims that the old system would cost $27 million over
the next 10 years and the new contract would save about $200,000 a year.
But, the new contract is 12,000 PAGES long. The $25 million is split
$10 to C&P for handling local service and $15 to AT&T for the PBX's
including maintenance. It does not include wiring, construction,
structural rennovations, or the new 24-hour staff for the White House
Tele-Phone Service Office, a brand new department since the Dems. are too
wimpy to even volunteer anymore.

  [ED: But their hearts are in the right place.

4. Florida Doug vents
From Wed Jan 19 13:04:27 1994

Dear Steve,

I am going to add something in the neighborhood of 7 kBytes to
your issue.  All editors should have such problems.  :)

"What does the election of anti-reformation forces in Russia
portend for future east-west relations?"

Good question.  If I could accurately and precisely answer that I
would be making a @#$# fortune making the proper business
investments.  However I will make a few comments.

First,of all let me ask the question, "how stable are the
east-west relations right now?".  We still have our missiles
pointed at each other.  We still have our submarines playing tag
in the oceans.  Despite all the crap about the cold war being
over, that has not changed.  Even if the Russians have discovered

Second, the Russian government is a very shaky parlimentary
system.  The economy is a shambles.  They don't even have the
ability to give the masses "bread and circuses".  It seems to me
that the current situation has parallels to Kerensky's 1917
government, which left a nice power vacuum for the Bolsheviks to
waltz into.  Again, I wonder how stable this end to the cold war
actually is.

Third, I think that President Clinton is making a serious mistake
in giving unqualified support to Yeltsin.  My gut feeling is that
the U.S. should butt out of the internal affairs of the Russian
government and let the sytem find stability on its own. Deal with
what ever government is there right now and make trade agreements
and disarmament agreements, but stay out of their internal

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.  (God I hate cliches:  They are
a dime a dozen.)

And now, because I stupidly voluteered to do this while under the
influence of anger, here is a "Jurassic Park" Review
For any of you who have not seen it, the movie "jurassic park"
has absolutely incredible special effects.  To say that its plot
is completely unbelievable is an understatement. My brother-
in-law, who is a special effects person somewhere in Hollywood
warned me.  But did I listen?  Heck, no!  I wanted to see huge
dinos ravaging, pillaging and destroying like any Godzilla fan
would.  However, I didn't suspend my reality meter very well with
this one.

The movie has a very strong anti-technology bias.  (This is very
ironic and rather hypocritical considering the level of
technology required to make the movie. Of course hypocrisy has
never particularly bothered Spielberg as far as I can tell.)
Normally, I can live with such a view point and still enjoy a
movie, but they got *just* a little too preachy about their
message of "humans are helpless to control that which they have
created".  They really should have supplied a few caveats with
such a blanket assertion because it certainly cannot apply to
large animals like dinosaurs, since we could wipe them out with a
trivial effort.

Being a combination condensed matter physicist and electrical
engineer, I won't touch the issue of bio-genetics with a ten-foot
pole.  Be it enough to say that my acquaintances in this field
snickered heavily when asked about the movie.  Oh, well, the
movie could still be very enjoyable.  I mean, since I watch Star
Trek: The Next Generation and enjoy it, I have obviously learned
to intellectually bend over and take it pretty well.

[However, while watching the movie, I must confess that it got to
the point that whenever Jeff Goldblum's famous mathematician
character said yet something else profound (translation:
"stupid") I began to cringe.]

Spielberg seems to have this very strong belief of "OH MY GOD, IF
WE'RE IN DEEP DOO-DOO!"  This is an arguable position and his sense 
of absolutism drives me crazy.  I can't figure out why the script
writers would have every big scientist in the movie coming out
very strongly against the concept of tinkering around with
ancient DNA and reconstructing a few dinosaurs.  What's to worry?
It's not like they were making a new variant of Legionnaire's
Disease or something like that.  I mean, a round or two from a .458
Weatherby Magnum or a .600 Nitro Express and old T-Rex is DOWN.
However, if one really wants a safety margin, a .50 Caliber round
or a 20 mm will do the job.  Six to eight tons of tyranosaurus
rex would indeed be higly dangerous, but we have the tools and it
would be dead in short order.

The raptors were also managable, even if the script writers
didn't want us to think so.  They had body weights in the range
of 200 to 300 pounds.  A grown adult with a nasty disposition and
a good club would stand an even chance against one of them.
(Picture an enraged Charlie Scripter with a tire iron and you've
got the idea).  However, since we are carnivores with rather
catholic tastes and we want a reasonable guarantee of having our
steaks with a minimum of danger, we are not interested in a fair
fight with such tasty-looking and dangerous animals.  Therefore
we would choose something in the range of a .270, .30-06 or a
.308 and have raptor burgers for supper.

Oh, yes, and while hunting the raptors, since we know they are
agressive pack animals, we would stay out in the clear areas and
let them come to us.  Unlike the "world-class game warden" in the
movie who fearlessly (and stupidly) plunges deeper into the brush
after one raptor and is promptly gutted by the other raptor who
comes in for the blind-side attack.  Just the sort of mistake
that a highly experienced big-game hunter would make, you bet!

And of course the humans were helpless to control the power they
had unleashed.  The highly-experienced-and-far-more-knowledgable-
than-we writers of hollywood told us so, therefore it must be
true, right?

Look, if the movie had been about biological warfare involving
something like an anthrax variant (which we really should worry
about BTW) they would have had a very nice believable plot.  But
the physical fact remains that those nice large dinosaurs are fat
juicy targets and would be relatively trivial to dispose of.

I am no longer angry after three weeks and I am no longer going
to rant and rave about the ridiculous examples of engineering
mistakes and poor continuity in the plot.  I am now merely
disgusted at the complete lack of integrity of Steven Spielberg.
Like the typical person using a one-way medium, he doesn't let
facts get in the way of preaching his philosophy.  And just like
the makers of Star Trek: The Movie, Spielberg has once again
proven that you can have a horrendous plot, but if the special
effects are trail- blazing enough, you make big bucks.

End of Review

Enough expurgated opinions.  I just wasted the last 60 minutes
spewing this inflammatory garbage out, when in the end it probably
doesn't matter anyway.  However, flaming stupidity does feel good
on occasion.  

Have a nice month, Steve.

Doug Wilken

5. Another Scripter writes from the "granola zone"

Hi there, Steve, what's shakin?
Heh, heh. Nobody out here seems to appreciate my joke. We were about 
20 miles from the epicenter and got a pretty good shake up. My very
big very heavy fieldstone fireplace came down on my brand new tent
which we had pitched in the living room for the kids to "campout"
in. If I hadn't decided that I really needed some peace and quiet 
that night, Miranda and the neighbor girl would have been sleeping
in it. The tent is torn, even the carpet is torn, but we were
pretty lucky. So I taught Melissa how to act in a quake, I jumped
up, turned on the light, and screamed my head off! Immediately after
the quake the power went off and we were left in TOTAL darkness. My
neighbor (Miranda had spent the night at their house) came down and 
took us back to his place. I hate to tell you how unprepared I was,
no flashlight, no radio, no shoes. After being at Oscar's house for 
a while and realizing that it was NOT the end of the world, Mandy and 
I took a flashlight and went back to our house to survey the damage.
We looked through all the rooms and had minimal damage. Then, we got 
to Mandy's room. Now, before I continue you need to understand what 
teenagers rooms normally look like. We open her door and she says
"Oh my God! Look what happened to my room!" I looked and said "It's
just like you left it!" She is too funny! Our power was on in about
12 hours and we have gas and water (We need to boil it but at least
we have some). The hospital I work in was torn down several years ago
and replaced with this "quake proof" model, and you should see the
whole 6th floor. It looks like someone took a knife and tried to slice
the top layer off! Maybe they should just realize that there's no way
to make everything "quakeproof". We may be "shakin" out here but at
least we're WARM! It's been about 80 everyday here, I'm sure that my
dear Brrrrrrrother can't say that right now! Or you either!
Well, gotta go..........

Toodles, Anita

6. And Keeweenaw Chuck casts some doubts on the honesty of our govt.

Hi Steve!

> On the BATF front, they've been at it again here in Atlanta.  Friday 
> night the BATF led an armed assault on a car parts store here in 
> Atlanta to recover some allegedly stolen TIRES.  That's right, 

This raid was clearly without rim or reason...  Are these guys a bit
unbalanced?  I'm getting really tired of them...  ;-)

Speaking of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF)...  I
see that the surviving Branch Davidians (BDs) are now on trial for the
alleged murder of the 4 ATF agents.  This is rather curious, as I was
recently afforded the opportunity to see the collection of Waco video
footage, compiled by Linda Thompson.  The numerous claims made by the
AFT are inconsistent and lack credibility.

The points I found most interesting were:

   Early in the raid, the ATF claimed they had only handguns, and were
"outgunned" by the BDs.  The video clearly shows the presence of at
least one MP5 (a machinegun) and an M16 in the hands of ATF agents.
Even more interesting is that while the ATF agents are clearly firing
with great zeal, there are no bullets visible striking anything in the
area of the agents (and the dry ground should show "puffs" if the BDs
_were_ firing and ever missed).  Could it be that the ATF agents were
firing on persons who were not firing back?

   The video footage of the agent on the roof: The news media showed
this over and over, clearly with the intent to show you how cold
blooded the BDs were.  What they didn't show you was that a few
seconds earlier 3 ATF agents climbed INTO that room.  The agent on the
roof then appears to have thrown a grenade in after them, and fired
into that same room.  Immediately after these actions, bullets appear
through the wall, striking the agent in the helmet, and wounding him
in the leg.  Curiously, those 3 agents in the room all _died_...  How
surprising...  Can we say "Murder"?  (and not by the BDs)

   A report appeared in Soldier of Fortune (generally a pro-law
enforcement magazine), criticizing the ATFs actions in the raid.
According to one federal law enforcement official, many if not most of
the casualties were due to "friendly fire".  At least one agent had a
Cyclone round removed from him; The Cyclone ammo is the armor piercing
ammo issued to the ATF agents for the raid.  This agent was the one on
the roof, described above, and the shot was fired through the wall by
one of the 3 agents who entered the window.  Additionally, the use of
such armor piercing ammo flies in the face of the Feds claim that they
were concerned for the safety of the children.

   We have accounted for 3 ATF deaths, the 4th (or 1st, chronologically)
occurred at the beginning of the firefight, when the ATF tried to kill
Koresh as he stood in the door.  This agent was killed shortly after
he wounded Koresh.  According to both the FBI and the Texas Rangers,
the ATF fired first.

   The next interesting point was the "small insertion holes, for CS
gas".  One of the tanks "inserting gas" was a tank puller, and had no
apparatus to insert gas.  These "small holes" being made were
sufficiently large to collapse sections of the building; Yes, they
were big enough you could "drive a tank through them".  Linda Thompson
claimed that the locations of these "small holes" corresponded to the
inside stairwells.  A rather curious "gas insertion" tactic...

   Again on the topic of CS gas: The tank "inserting gas" into the
building clearly shows a fire on the front of it.  You can see a
burning liquid dripping from the "gas insertion" nozzle.  Now perhaps
the fire is merely due to a flammable solvent being used, or perhaps
it was in fact a flame thrower, it really doesn't matter as this
action was premeditated.  I believe this is commonly known as
"Murder".  If I spray you with a flame thrower and you die, its
murder.  If I spray you with a flammable liquid and you "accidentally"
catch fire and die, its still murder (the Feds knew there were open
flames in the building, as they had shut off the power quite some time
before).  The agents involved at one point claimed they were using
_acetone_ as a dispersant, as it would cause the gas mask filters to
deteriorate quicker.  On the other hand, there was no evidence that
the children has gas masks at all.  CS gas in a confined area would
cause the suffocation and death of small children.  CS gas has been
internationally banned for use on military troops, but its OK to use
it on civilians?...  Again, Murder.

   Another point which was raised, is that many of the BDs were in the
underground bunker (where they died).  The video shows a tank driving
back and forth over the tunnel leading to this bunker.  Common sense
would indicate that driving a several-ton vehicle over such a tunnel
would tend to collapse this tunnel.  The video also shows smoke coming
from the bunker before the time the Feds claim the fire started.

   The next curious tactic was the tanks pushing pieces of the
building further into the fire.  At any crime scene, the authorities
always try to _preserve_ evidence.  This looked as if they wanted to
destroy any flammable evidence.  And the final bulldozing of the site
was also a rather curious method of preserving evidence...

   Another interesting point was the Feds claim that they had to keep
people away from the site because of the "danger from exploding
ammunition", or some such BS.  The video clearly shows agents
wandering near and around the fire, completely disregarding this
alleged danger.  The Feds were caught in yet another lie.

   The last point, which wasn't in the video, is that the feds have
still not produced any illegal weapons.  They claim their raid was
justified by alleged presence of an unregistered machinegun (i.e. one
which the tax wasn't paid), but they have yet to produce the
weapon(s).  Keep in mind that ATF is a branch of the _Treasury_
department; The alleged charges of child abuse and such are outside of
their jurisdiction (and had already been investigated by the State of
Texas).  ATFs only purpose and power is to ensure that _taxes_ are
paid on alcohol, tobacco and firearms.

   This raid was clearly unjustified and lacked a lawful warrant (the
warrant was issued under false pretenses); The warrant was not served
in a lawful manner, and this illegal raid ultimately resulted in the
deaths of 80+ persons (only one of whom was listed on said warrant).
If, as the Feds claim, this was a hostage situation, they succeeded in
killing all the hostages.  If the Feds claim that the BDs deserved
what they got because they resisted, then I call upon them to produce
the evidence that they were fired upon by the 20+ children (most under
5 years of age).  In any case, this matter deserves a full investigation,
rather than the whitewash proceedings seen on CSPAN (with _Chairman_
Jack Brooks telling the ATF agents, during a break, how he would have
run off all the witnesses and then killed the BDs the first night; I
have this footage on tape, if anyone is interested in seeing it).

   I highly recommend everyone see this video.  While not all the
claims are entirely convincing, there is sufficient evidence of
wrongdoing to indicate the need for a special prosecutor to
investigate the issue.  This is exactly what Linda Thompson is
calling for. 

   Many people have obtained 2nd or 3rd generation copies of this
tape, as Linda Thompson claims that the Feds are watching her office
and monitoring her mail.  The clinically paranoid should follow that
procedure.  For those who believe in the "goodness" of our government,
and don't fear retaliation for communicating with Linda Thompson, I
enclose the following address.

  Linda Thompson
  American Justice Federation
  Telephone: 317-780-5204
  FAX: 317-780-5209
  BBS: 317-881-2743 [Fidonet 1:231/110]
  E-Mail: Linda.Thompson@f110.n231.z1.FIDONET.ORG

Ask for "Waco, The Big Lie"

Charles Scripter   *
Dept of Physics, Michigan Tech, Houghton, MI 49931

  [In fairness to the media, I think they used all the film that they had
  [during the siege and didn't censor the things in the Thompson tape. But, 
  [who gave ABC, NBC and CBS the footage they do have? The FBI.  Why 
  [don't any of those fearless reporters put the Thompson tape into their
  [20/20, Prime Time Live, or 60 Minutes shows? I know Linda has offered
  [it to them.

                       FIX OF THE MONTH
  "Given that an elected official is boholden to the interests (read, money)
   that got her/him elected, how is it possible to elect unimpeachable
                     QUOTES(s) OF THE MONTH
During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity
been on trial.  What has been its fruits?  More or less, in all places,
pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in
both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
			-- James Madison

  It's no accident that Capitalism has brought with it progress,
not merely in production , but also in knowledge. Egoism and
competition are, alas, stronger forces than public spirit and
a sense of duty. In Russia, they say, it is impossible to get
a decent piece of bread. Perhaps I'm over pessimisstic concerning
the state and other forms of communal enterprise, but I expect little 
good from them. Bureaucracy is the death of any achievment.
I've seen and experienced too many dreadful warnings, even in
comparatively model Switzerland. I'm inclined to view that the state
can only be of use  to industry as a limiting and regulative  force.
			--Albert Einstein

                           THE NEWS
1. Detroit, Jan. 10: The search continues for the white male who bashed
Nancy Kerrigan's knee during last week's Olympic tryouts. However, the
US  Olympic Committee has elected to send Miss Kerrigan despite her 
non-participation in the event.
  [Wouldn't is be interesting if one of Kerrigan's competitors set this

2. Detroit, Jan. 13: Damn, it now appears as if  Tonya Harding, another
Olympic figure skater, was involved in the hit on Kerrigan. Apparently, 
her husband wanted to assure her victory so he instructed Tonya's 
body guard to set up  a hit.  

1. Dec. 23: The Black Student Caucus at the Univ. of Wis.- Milwaukee are
demanding their own student union, no non-blacks allowed. This experiment
in "raising the awareness of multiculteralism" is actually being debated
by the Univ. Regents who must decide if the school charter allows the
allocation of common student funds to a group which discriminates on the 
basis of race. The BSC is demanding $0.25 Million/year.
2. Dec. 27: With  the Badgers going to the Rose Bowl for the first
time in 31 years, and only 12,000 tickets allocated to the Big Ten 
school which participates, tempers around the state erupted when it
was learned that 1,000 tickets were held in reserve for state politicians. 
Said one UW-Madison Regent,
  "We just set aside 1000 for legislators, their friends, you know -
   the people that vote on our budget."
House member Scott McNardy (R-Necedah) said,"Boy was I popular, the
phone just wouldn't stop ringing."
3. Dec. 29; A pc employee of a toy company had some fun with the talking
GI JOE and BARBI dolls. Seems several hundred Milwaukee area kids were
surprised when their GI JOE's said in a high voice, "I think I'll take a 
bath", and the BARBI dolls growled, "Let's take that hill." However, being
the bright children that they are, none of the kids want to swap their
dolls, they recognize a good collectible when they see it.
4. Dec. 26, Milwaukee J.: Proving that not only D.C. legislators know how
to exempt themselves from their own laws, the ban on "revolving door" 
legislator/lobbyists enacted by the state legislature applys only to 
members of the executive and judicial branches. State Majority Leader Tom 
Hauke (D-West Allis) retired from public office on the last day of 1992 and 
6 days into 1993 began work as a lobbyist for a West Allis business 
consortium.  Other state officials could not have made that carreer move
in less than a year. Over 20 ex-legislators are now lobbyists, and the
majority are Milwaukee area Democrats.

5. Dec. 17, Madison: While in town for the filming of her new movie,
actress Julia Roberts had a visit from Govnr. Thompson who is
apparently a big fan. The two apparently got along becuase Julia gave
her studio chair (embosssed with her name) to the Govnr. Problem is,
state law requires that all gifts to state officials stay on state property,
so when the Govnr. leaves office, he can't take the chair with him.
6. Dec. 19, Hartford: Concerned over the shooting of a high school teacher
in Milwaukee by a student with a concealed weapon, Hartford Union High 
has implemented a a new dress code. Students will not be allowed to wear 
coats or hats once they enter the building. 
  [If I was still a student there, and the weather was more hospitable, I know
  [what obvious conclusion I'd take this policy to.


1. Jan 10, Corpus Christi;  Area merchants and educators have decided
to ban teen-aged males from wearing baseball caps in area malls and 
schools. The theory? Since some gang members wear baseball caps,
all males wearing baseball caps are gang members. Take away the 
caps and voila, crime will disappear.

1. Jan 1, 1994, Pasadena: An estimated 3000-5000 Badger fans, who took 
travel agents at their word when promised that game tickets would be 
provided once they arrived in Pasadena, are sitting in area sports bars
today watching the game on TV and plotting law suits. It seems that the 
Madison based travel clubs made contracts with ticket brokers based in
California where (unlike in Wisconsin) ticket scalping is perfectly 
legal. Several of those brokers decided that rather than selling their 
tickets for the face value ($45), they'd hold out for the street price
on game day ($400-500). This effectively broke the contracts they had
with the Wisconsin based travel agents and left the fans screwed. The
collective outrage has reaced the ears of Wisconsin Govnr. Tommy Thomson
who says he will contact Attorney General Jan Reno on the matter.
  [Maybe some tanks will go after those ticket brokers.
2. Jan 1, 1994, Pasadena: It's a Cindarella story. Coach Alvarez took
the Badgers from worst to first in the Big Ten in four years and today
secured the first Rose Bowl victory in Badger history with a 21-16 win
over UCLA. Other firsts;
   - 1'st loss by UCLA coach Donahue in a Bowl game
   - Highest number of turnovers by UCLA ever (6)
   - Most player ejections (2 Badgers, 2 Bruins)
Wash. D.C.;
1. Dec. 22: Surgeon General Jocelyn Elder's son was arrested for selling 
cocaine. What makes the timing of this particulary embarrasing is that
it was only last week that Miss Elders called for a cost-benefit study of 
legalizing drugs.  It could have been a serious call to action under other
circumstances, but now her action has been discredited as self-serving
and insincere.
  [Then again, perhaps nothing from Ms. Elders can be taken seriously.
  [She's also called for;
  [  safer real bullets (ones that cause less damage)
  [  banning toy guns
  [  starting sex-ed at age two
  [  free condom distribution from 5'th grade on
  [  hushing up condom failures (while Surgeon General of Arkansas
  [  she oversaw the distribution of "discount" condoms throughout the
  [  state high schools even after she was made aware that they
  [  had a breakage rate 8 times greater than normal.)
2. Dec. 22, Wash Post: The story of Bill Clinton's marital infidelity
continues to expand - this time it includes his wife. Hillary was 
alledgedly involved with Vince Foster, the White House staffer who
committed suicide last summer while apparently trying to defend the
Clinton's from an ongoing investigation into illegal loans from the
Madison S&L of Little Rock.  More as the story unfolds.
3. NPR, Dec. 23: Acting on allegations of Vince Foster's 
possible role in covering up illegal campaign financing by the Clintons,
and the theft of related files from his office after his death, House
Republicans have called for an independant special prosecutor to 
investigate Bill Clinton. House majority leader Tom Foley (D, Wash) 
and Attorney General Jan Reno  have replied that they don't think such
a step is justified or needed.
  [Ah yes, how convenient that a unified Congress, White House and
  [Justice Dept. can find their actions beyond reproach. Meanwhile,
  [Loren Walsh continues his Iran/Contra investigations and the ashes
  [of 2 dozen children at Waco cry out for justice.

  [Followup, Jan.21: Bowing to growing pressure from Sen. Pat
  [Moynihan and others of his party, Clinton has consented to 
  [the appointment of a Special Counsel (I forget his name). 
  [ But since the documents that have been subpoenaed have 
  [been in the White House since the "suicide" of Vince Foster
  [don't be too surprised if they contain nothing incriminating.

4. Jan 3, NPR: Ed Marky, Dem Congressmen from Mass., is the person
responsible for the research that went into the reports this week of
medical experiments being done on unsuspecting patients during WWII
with injections of various radio-isotopes. Interestingly, he released his
findings in a report in 1986, but little came of it. Asked by NPR's
reporter if the current report added anything new, Marky replied in the
negative. When asked what could be motivating the renewed interest now,
Marky mentioned that Hazel O'Leary, director of the Dept. of Energy,
felt that the survivors deserved to be compensated for their injuries.
  [Maybe so, but the little voice in my head says,
  [  "OK you cabinet officers, we need a distraction to get the
  [   heat off me about the womanizing and the Whitewater deal.
  [   I want each of you to dig into your dept's records and 
  [   find some dirt."

5.  Fall 1993:  I was just recently made aware of this, but in the grand
tradition of exempting themselves from the rules that they make for the
rest of us, Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell introduced  a rider
on Hillary's Health Care bill [Legis Rsrch says  S. 1757] 
which exempts Congress and all Federal employees from Hillary's
health care plan.  For the other programs they are exempted from
(including Social Security, Civil Rights Act, etc.) see det_news92.jul

  [I'm trying to hunt this bill down and will post it once I find it.

6.  Jan 11, CBS News: Sidwell Friends School, the private academy where
Chelsea Clinton is "educated", recently handed out the following assignment:
write an essay on ,  "Why you feel guilty being white."

7. Jan.13,  CNN: The Govt. Service Admin. (GSA) is sueing various other
Federal service groups (NSF, DOE, DOD) for using cheaper 3'rd party 
mail carriers for their postal needs. Apparently, there is a regulation
that all Federal agencies must use the US Postal Service for their
delivery needs.  In retaliation, the Feds are suing themselves to provide
back wages to the US Postal Service.
  [And so the US taxpayer gets to pay for another service which we
  [didn't get. I'm sure glad Clinton is working on balancing the budget.

Washington State:

1. Jan 11,  Seattle:  Speaker of the House Tom Foley continues to sue his 
constituents who approved term limits in the '92 election.  Lawyers for the
people of Washington claim that the 10'th Amendment covers the rights of
each state to choose their method of selecting representatives. Lawyers for
Foley are claiming that 
    "... no modern interpretation of the Constition asserts a right of the 
      people to overule the Federal Congress."

  [It's over folks. It's over. Get the spouse and kids and move.

Net News;
1. And for those looking to enjoy the quiet Northwoods life;


Name:     ___________

Nickname: ___________  C.B. Handle: _______

Mobile Home Color:   (   ) two-tone, brown and white
                     (   ) two-tone, pink and white
                     (   ) faded   green

Daddy: If unknown, attach list of three suspects  ___________

Mama: ___________

Neck Shade: () light red  () medium red   () dark red

Number of teeth in exposed full grin:  Upper: __  Lower: __

Model of pick-up truck: ________________    Size of tires: ___

Number of beer cans on floor of pick-up  truck: _____

Truck equipped with:
()   gun rack           () mud   flaps        () camper top
()   American flag      () 4-W   drive        () 8 track
()   fuzz buster        () roll bar           () C.B.
()   air horn           () rust               () mud tires
()   load of wood       () dents              () deer poaching light
()   Playboy emblem hanging from rear view mirror
()   woman's garter hanging from rear view mirror
()   pine tree air freshener hanging from rear view mirror

Bumper stickers:
( )  Honk  if   You're   Horny        ()  -uck 'em Bucky
( )  Almost Heaven, Hayward           ()  Where the Hall is Rhinelander?
( )  Feminazis for Kohl               ()  WI State Bird - Mosquito
( )  Ducks Unlimited                  ()  Walleyes Unlimited
( )  Tommy Bartlett Water Show        ()  Nuke Illinois
( )  Eat Cheese or Die                ()  Cheddarheads for Bush
( )  The Pack is Back (on bumper since 1973, still waiting)
( )  You'll get my gun when you pry my cold, dead fingers from
     around the barrel.

Favorite Meal
()   Anything fried in lard.               () Bratwurst & Old Milwaukee
()   Pickled pigs feet                     () Slim Jims and lime jell-o
()   Venison sausage and Old  Milwaukee
()   Cheese  curds and Old Milwaukee
()   Green  bean and mushroom soup casserole

Favorite Music:
() Country            () Western          () Country Western
() Anything played by an accordion

Favorite Recreation:
() Deer Hunting                  () Snowmobiling
() Watching Green  Acres reruns
() Fishing w/live bait           () Deer Hunting while Drinking
() Snowmobiling  while drinking
() Watching Green Acres reruns while drinking
() Fishing with live bait while drinking

Favorite Weapon:
()  .22                () 30/30              ()   30/06
()  Ice  Auger         () Chain Saw          ()   Tire Iron
()  Forehead           () Wife

Favorite Fragrance:
() Wet Dogs                   () Old Milwaukee     () WD-40
() Minnow Bucket              () Frying  Spam      () Diesel Fuel
() A paper mill on a hot day in August
() Fish guts after a week in the trash (in garage) in August
() Any scent emanating from a bodily orifice

Favorite Cap Emblem:
()  Old Milwaukee             ()  Stihl             ( ) Blatz
()  Skoal                     ()  Packers           ( )  Pabst
()  John Deere                ()  Hamms             ( )  Brewers
()  Point Beer                ()  Old Fart          ( )  Old Style

Favorite Reading:
()  Fishing Facts            ()  Welfare  Application  ()  Enquirer
()  Beer Bottle Labels       ()  Today's  Mercenary    ()  Guns & Ammo
()  Polka Digest             ()  Arryan Review         ()  TV Guide
()  Sports Illustrated   (Swimsuit edition only)

Length of Right Leg: _________   Length of Left Leg: _______

Things in your front yard:
()  Various kitchen  appliances       ()  Piles of split wood
()  Dismantled  snowmobiles           ()  Cars on blocks
()  Dog run with all the grass worn,away down to rock hard dirt
()  Deer hanging from tree limb - in season
()  Deer hanging from tree limb - out of season
()  Wood cut-out of bent over women

When  was your last sighting of Elvis? _______________

Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags? _____________

Do you own any shoes (not counting boots)?     _____________

Are you  married  to  any  of  the  following:
() Sister        () Cousin         () Cousin's Sister

Can you beat  your  wife at arm wrestling?  (y) (n)

Typical greeting:
()    Good mornin'  dere
()    Dem Packers is playin like a buncha old women.
()    Dem Brewers is playin like a buncha old women.
()    Dem Badgers is playin like a buncha old women.
()    Dem Bucks is playin like a buncha old women.
()    Dey should take da whole buncha dem Madison liberals and
      queers and line em up and shoot em.
()    Dey should just let dem Indians spear dose idiots at da DNR.
()    Ya, hey.

Favorite  tavern  name:
() County  Trunk  Bar          ()   Dew Drop Inn
() Deer Drop Inn               ()   Deer Droppings Inn
() Lakeside   Supper  Club     ()   Lakeview  Supper  Club
() Lakewood   Supper  Club     ()   Pineside  Supper  Club
() Pineview   Supper  Club     ()   Pinewood-Supper   Club

Favorite   automobile:
()    '67  Ford  Galaxy
()    '67  Ford  Galaxy  with  transmission
()    '67  Ford  Galaxy  with  '73 Chavy  Impala  transmission
()    '67  Ford  Galaxy  with  '73 Chevy Impala transmission and '71
       Buick LeSabre engine.

Farthest Memorable Event You've Ever Attended:
()  Minocqua Moose Call Competition
()  Phelps Mister Potato Carnival
()  Gleason Grouse Mating Gala
()  Herbster Jaycees Seagull Doo-Doo Days
()  Lake Tomahawk Crew Cut Championships
()  Ogema Outboard Motor Repair Finals
()  Spread  Eagle  International  Proctologist  Convention
()  Chetek Carp Queen Beauty contest and Carp Cuisine Cook-Off
()  Eagle River Shout-Off for the Deaf (held after a week of
    snowmobile races).

Your Signature (an X will do)  ____________________________


2. And for you chip heads out there

(performance specs from Digital Rev: market data from WallStreet J, UNIX World)

.               68k            80x86           SPARC           MIPS
Vendor       Motorola        Intel           Sun             MIPS INC
Date         68k F 1978      386 F 1986      SP1 S 1986      R2k W 1989
of           020 W 1981      486 W 1990      SP2 S 1990      R3k W 1990
.            030 F 1986      586 S 1993      SSp S 1992      R4K F 1991
Release      040 W 1990
MIPs         68k 3 @ 20MHz   386 8 @ 33MHz   SP1 13 @ 25MHz  R2K 13 @ 20MHz
Efficiency   020 5 @ 16MHz   486 17 @ 25MHz  SP2 38 @ 40Mz   R3K 21 @ 25MHz
.            030 13 @ 25MHz  586 64 @ 66MHz  SSp 44 @ 36MHz  R4K 85 @ 50MHz
.            040 23 @ 25MHz
MFLOP        881 .6 @ 25MHz  387 .3 @ 25MHz  SP1 2 @ 25MHz   R2K 2.6 @ 20MHz
Efficiency   882 1 @ 25MHz   486 .8 @ 25MHz  SP2 ? @ 40Mz    R3K 2.6 @ 20MHz
.            040 3 @ 25MHz   586 57 @ 66MHz  SSp 53@ 36MHz   R4K 35  @ 50MHz
Memory       Flat            Segmented       Flat            Flat
Model                        in 64k pages
Program      User /          Real or         User /          User /
Model        Supervisor      Protected       Supervisor      Supervisor
Memory       Virtual         Virtual in      Virtual         Virtual
Management   PMMU in         Protected via   PMMU in         PMMU in
.            hardware        Software emul   hardware        hardware
Max          4 Giga Byte     640k in Real    4 Giga Byte     4 Giga Byte
Usable                       4 GB under                      (1.8*10^10 GByte
Memory                       protected mode                   on R4k)
I/O          Memory          Hardware        Memory          Memory
Method       Mapped          Mapped          Mapped          Mapped
Typical      Bit mapped      Character       Bit mapped      Bit mapped
application  Workstations    Based PC's      Workstations    Worstations
Platform     & Mini-Main     & File srvrs

Addendum: ALPHA (DEC) 21064A W 1994, 135 MIPS and 205 MFLOPS @ 225MHz,
	  1.8*10^10 GByte adressable memory

Base as                                 Sun
of S1990     Motorola      Intel        SPARC      MIPS      Other
& Srvr       60%           4%           ~20%       9%        ~7 (HP Prism)
Mini-Main    12%          ~0%           ~0%        ~0        ~85% (VAX, AS400)
MS-DOS       8% Emul      ~80% in       ~1 Emul    ~1 Emul   10%
File Srv     in UNIX       PC LANs      in UNIX    in UNIX   VAX emul
Desktop      12%           ~80%         0          0         8%
PC's         Mainly MAC    IBM clones                        AppleII & C64

Final Thoughts:

  I'd like to know how many of you physics types are getting your *Physics 
Today* the month after the issue date (eg. I got my Dec. issue on Jan. 8).  
Before this was merely inconvenient, but now that I'm job hunting and see 
positions that expire the very day I read them, it's getting to be serious. 
Some of  my classmates here are experiencing the same delays. 

  I suspect that all of us are being sent late issues. If  those of you who 
agree would drop me a line with permision to use your name, I'll put together 
a gang letter to the Editor of *Physics Today* to put some heat on their 
subscription department.

Last Updated 04/14/95.© 1996 PPSA Consulting